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Parental Supervision
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 07/17/2012 21:13:17
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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Do you think parents SHOULD or SHOULDN'T go through their children's things?
For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack?
What about their Facebook or cell phone?
What about if they get their child's permission first?
Does the age of the child matter?
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel?
What if your parents did this to you?
What if you were a parent?
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| RazNinjaMike |
Posted on 07/17/2012 21:20:21
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Moderator
Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10
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za heystarface wrote:
Do you think parents SHOULD or SHOULDN'T go through their children's things?
For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack? Only if they have a strong reason for something that may be compromising the safty of their kid. If their reason because they think kid is up to mischeif then i say no. Because this tell the kid that parent don't trust them. Which could end up making them into shitty kids.
What about their Facebook or cell phone? Same reason as before.
What about if they get their child's permission first? Sure deff.
Does the age of the child matter? no safety first
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel? My parents didn't really do this. Though i did get busted for having......something that under age kids not suppose to have lolz..
What if your parents did this to you? They didnt' really do it. Mainly because i was a smart lad, and knew how to hide anything that could get me in trouble 
What if you were a parent? I will deff do this lol. But for same reason that i believe in. If safty a issue. not mischief.
Extra Question that i added myself. Reguarding internet.
I would deff have site blockers and such on the computer that kid use. To prevent kids from being expose nasty sexy stuff. and computer viruses.
Edited by RazNinjaMike on 07/17/2012 21:22:56 |
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| Tulipness |
Posted on 07/17/2012 21:38:48
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Numpty
Posts: 1008
Joined: 18.03.12
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Do you think parents SHOULD or SHOULDN'T go through their children's things?Not one bit!!Unless you suspect something,(Not every minute,but after days of seeing suspicious behavior,you give it a go of snooping).
For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack?That's fine imo,You won't find nothing but incomplete schoolwork,makeup,papers,and a sweater!
What about their Facebook or cell phone?You want too snoop,or be stalking?Jeez,You only stoop to this level if your a parent whose seeing their children come home late,show no respect,doing poorly at work/school,or staying in their "room" too long!
What about if they get their child's permission first?
Does the age of the child matter?As long as the relationship/friendship afflicted people are both under the same age,at least a 2 year difference,it's a fine relationship/friendship.As long as the Guy/girl is not a minor,and your child is.
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel?My parents don't do this,OR THEY WOULD TASTE MY WRATH.It would make me feel like crap!Do they want me too tell the whole world they have sex here and there?What they wear?What they do at night?What they do all day in the house?That's personal things no one needs to know.(This is because im sure if a parent goes snooping,THEY'RE GOING TOO TELL THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD)
What if your parents did this to you?Scroll up!!!
What if you were a parent?After a prolonged time of seeing unusual stuff,then i'll look into it.I myself have gone through most of the shit they've gone through,so we know how to lie,what to do,and how to get away from it.Think it over for a good long time,maybe with close friends,never with yourself and in seconds?Your going to screw your life up,her/his life,and your relationship with the child.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
-Aristotle
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| ZA Bvigil |
Posted on 07/17/2012 22:08:00
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Admin
Posts: 2161
Joined: 15.11.10
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za heystarface wrote:
Do you think parents SHOULD or SHOULDN'T go through their children's things?Just like the law works if they can find unquestionable reason that they should check then yes but without that it's just an invasion of privacy
For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack? Well I personally wouldn't care too much because I don't keep anything private in my backpack
What about their Facebook or cell phone? No No No No No it's annoying enough that my mom monitors my facebook posts all the time but checking everything just just no
What about if they get their child's permission first?
Well sure then that's fine
Does the age of the child matter? Not in my opinion all children deserve the same amount of privacy unless they're like 2 and have no ability to judge
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel?
They have before. It made me feel like I was completely untrusted they didn't find anything and still got angry with me for no reason so ya I was annoyed
What if your parents did this to you?
I yell at them don't care if they're my parents you don't just look through someones private stuff
What if you were a parent? I would hope I could respect their privacy enough to not have to break the trust
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| Carnage |
Posted on 07/17/2012 22:25:16
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Super Admin
Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11
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IMO children have no expectation of privacy when they live in MY home. Simply put, my house my rules. If I had kids (don't want kids) and I suspected that they were doing bad things (drugs gangs etc) I would have no problem with "invading their privacy". My parents didn't search my brothers room and turns out he was hiding meth in his room. I wish they would have found it sooner. I would have rather my parents had cared enough to search than to be so worried about privacy and he end up being an addict for a few years.
Edited by Carnage on 07/17/2012 22:32:22
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 07/17/2012 22:32:15
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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I think parents should monitor their child's internet usage and online accounts no matter the age. There are some fucked up things out there. Also, I know kids act one way with their friends and another way with their family, but you act one way too long you could get stuck that way, so I would want my child to stay true to themselves. Since I can't remind them how awesome they are just the way they are when they're at school, it needs to be done at home, and since when kids are at home they live online, I would want to monitor what they're doing. When I was a kid they sat with me when I played online and chatted, and I appreciate that. It's about raising your child in a way that they always have a parent to set an example for proper behavior. If I'm not involved in the environment (online or otherwise) they won't know what behaviors are acceptable and what aren't. If you do this while the child grows up, then when they get closer to adulthood they should be confident enough in their own identity and morals to make the right choices when they're given the freedom and privacy that they've earned.
As for cell phones and back packs, yes. Cars, yes. Bedrooms, yes. However, I don't believe reading a persons diary or journal is okay. I also don't believe that EVERY text message should be read or EVERY picture looked at, just one or two random ones to get the feel of the conversations and so your child knows you could look at any message at any time. If you know someone's looking, it keeps you honest. And honesty is something I want to have with my child. I would never snoop without him knowing or anything like that - it would just be a rule. If you want to use the computer, I have the right to monitor what you're doing - same with phone and such.
Ramble Ramble Ramble.
I was allowed to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted with a credit card in tow, my own car, and a drug dealer boyfriend. My friends and I did unspeakable things and I regret so much of my teenage years. I was NOT a good person and I did not make good choices. All I had was privacy, which is good cause I had a lot of shame to hide from my parents. They are such good, supportive people, and I let my friends' influence me more than I let my parents. I hope to never put my child in that position.
I think parents should monit
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| RazNinjaMike |
Posted on 07/17/2012 22:36:41
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Moderator
Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10
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im gonna show tyler this thread when he can read....just so he have a heads up |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 07/17/2012 23:03:27
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Since I'm the child being monitored by answers are probably going to be biased.
za heystarface wrote:
Do you think parents SHOULD or SHOULDN'T go through their children's things?
I don't think they should - it's their stuff.
For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack?
If they thought there happened to be drugs or something in there, yes. But otherwise, no.
What about their Facebook or cell phone?
No! What you write on Facebook is for your friends to see and what you text to other people is for that person to see. That's an invasion of privacy. I hate when parents force their children to make them Facebook friends.
What about if they get their child's permission first?
If the child's ok with it, alright.
Does the age of the child matter?
It does, I suppose. I couldn't say how.
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel?
Thankfully, no, they don't, and I'm grateful for that. They trust me enough not to go checking my internet history and go snooping around my bedroom. They probably wouldn't like what they see and I wouldn't like them seeing it so we're all happier like this.
What if your parents did this to you?
That would just show they don't trust me. Maybe sometimes they'd be right not to trust me but I don't think I do anything that's gonna harm me.
What if you were a parent?
Well, you bring up people the way you're brought up and, much as I hate children, if I ever had them I'd be pretty standoffish.
There are some fucked up things out there.
Yes there is. A lot of which I have seen. And none of which has scarred me. And the truly fucked up stuff? Well you're only going to find it if you want to.
When I was a kid they sat with me when I played online and chatted, and I appreciate that.
I could not stand that. Having to explain to my parents why I'm called the Hat of Love would be an nightmare.
It's about raising your child in a way that they always have a parent to set an example for proper behavior. If I'm not involved in the environment (online or otherwise) they won't know what behaviors are acceptable and what aren't.
My parents always set a good example in real life. They don't need to be there constantly. They trust me enough to talk to people online (and leave me alone for a week). I think I know what behaviours are acceptable at this point.
I also don't believe that EVERY text message should be read or EVERY picture looked at, just one or two random ones to get the feel of the conversations and so your child knows you could look at any message at any time.
Hm, so you're saying you shouldn't invade people's privacy lots of times, just a few times?
If you know someone's looking, it keeps you honest. And honesty is something I want to have with my child.
No, it keeps them from being themselves. I'm not myself in front of my parents, I'm a toned down, much less talkative version of it. If I knew my parents were spying on me I couldn't talk to my friends normally, I couldn't type all this stuff, I couldn't do a lot of the stuff that I do - not because I shouldn't be doing it necessarily but because I just don't act the same way in front of my parents and it would be embarrassing to have my parents (metaphorically) standing there while I talk to people.
I'm glad my parents don't monitor me because it shows trust. I often act older than I am (Star thought I was in my 20s, I remember) so they treat me older than I am. That's because they've brought me up to this point not treating me like a child and not casually invading my privacy.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| ZA Luna |
Posted on 07/17/2012 23:35:12
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I got a big blue star for posting. i must be special
Posts: 1723
Joined: 16.11.10
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Parents should only go through their kids things if they have a good reason too. Like if they suspect their kid is up to something.
I think checking their backpack is okay. Heck, sometimes they find lost homework ^.^'
Facebook and cellphones are another matter. I've heard the excuse 'If you don't want me to see it you must be doing something bad' around, and I don't think that's fair. Unless your kid has been accused of doing something like drugs or cyber-bullying another kid, then respect their privacy.
On another hand, I think privacy is a privilege. If you get caught doing something bad then of course your going to lose it.
Yes. But its weird. Older kids have more things that a parent might want to look through, but they also want more privacy.
My mom looks in my backpack, and I don't mind that. She doesn't look at my texts, but on the online phone thing she can see what numbers I'm texting. I think that's fine, because its not like shes looking through my private conversations, but she can still see that I'm not texting some random weirdo O.o
If my mom started looking through all my stuff I'd be ticked. I'd probably ask her what I did to deserve this xD
Like I said, privacy is a privilege. If my kid did something bad enough, they'd lose it until I feel like I could trust them again.
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 07/17/2012 23:37:03
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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The way I see it monitoring your child too much is being overprotective. And being overprotective leaves your child unprepared for life. Cos that stuff's out there and when you do eventually find it it's gonna come as a shock.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 07/18/2012 00:00:06
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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You sound like you have a very different relationship with your parents than I've had with mine. I am myself when I'm with my family, and I guess I just assume that my kids will be the same. Who I am at home is who I am, and who I was when I was with my friends as a teenager was someone very different. So when I say having the parent watching over keeps them honest, I guess that would only apply to a family like mine. I hope to be as accepting or more accepting of my son as my parents have been with me, then he'll be able to be himself at home, the same way I was/am. And I don't think a child is entitled to privacy unless drugs or bullying is involved. I want to aware of why my child is developing the personality that they are, and their relationships outside of the family are a HUGE part of that. If I give them privacy all the time (assuming there's no reason to suspect drug abuse or something), then I'd never know anything. And by the time my child is your age, I would hope that he had proven himself to be responsible, trustworthy, and happy enough to not need me to show him right from wrong.
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 07/18/2012 00:31:41
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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I don't think a child is entitled to privacy unless drugs or bullying is involved.
I take it that was a typo?
Thing is I've proven myself trustworthy to my parents without them monitoring everything/anything that I do.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 07/18/2012 00:36:56
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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Yes and no. I'm too tired and confused to explain though.
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| SpecOps |
Posted on 07/18/2012 03:26:40
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Wanker
Posts: 557
Joined: 11.04.12
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tbh it doesnt even bother if parents wanted to monitor children these days because no matter the age or the level of intelligence they possess, we all still no ways around all of that, the main things parents dont know is that we are actually more intelligent then what they think. I still believe if theres reason behind it I have no problem with my parents stalking my privacy but if its just to see what I chat to with my irl friends thats crossing the line imo |
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| ninja |
Posted on 07/18/2012 06:24:54
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Super Admin
Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10
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Do you think parents SHOULD or SHOULDN'T go through their children's things?
If they have a good reason to, but not just for the hell of it, and not all the time.
For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack?
I don't see why not. Besides, most children would be intelligent enough not to leave something they didn't want their parents to see in their backpack.
What about their Facebook or cell phone?
This is borderline. Parents may well be concerned for their child's safety online, since it's an area they're often unfamiliar with. If they can have a quick peek, just to assure themselves their child is safe, that's fine. It shouldn't just be used as an excuse to be nosy, however.
What about if they get their child's permission first?
Obviously that's fine ... unless it is concerning private matters of their friends.
Does the age of the child matter?
Probably, but I wouldn't like to put a number on it. I would be inclined to say that as age increases, deserved level of privacy increases since the child has matured. That said, the child is more likely to be involved in dangerous activities at a greater age, so it's hard to say.
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel? What if your parents did this to you?
Not really, that I'm aware of. All my parents would find in my backpack is Maths, so they can look all they like. And they're not very tech-savy so I doubt they'd check my Internet history. Not that they'd find anything - I delete my history to uhhumm .... free up space. >_> Most of my text messages are to my parents anyway, so they might as well just read off their phone. My mum is always trying to read my Facebook, but all she gets is Google staring at here when she walks into my room. I wouldn't really mind my parents seeing what I do on Facebook, but I'm trying to protect my friends' privacy - you know how parents are good at gossiping ("I hear X has a new girlfriend").
What if you were a parent?
I'd like to think I'd let my child be as independent as they like, obviously supporting them when I can. However, I'd probably end up being curious about what they're up to. Like others have said, a mutual respect and trust is important.
The Hat of Love wrote:
I don't think a child is entitled to privacy unless drugs or bullying is involved.
I take it that was a typo?
Thing is I've proven myself trustworthy to my parents without them monitoring everything/anything that I do.
Read as:
I don't think: "a child is entitled to privacy unless drugs or bullying is involved". [Reason why I don't think this statement]
My brain is open.
- Paul Erdős |
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 07/18/2012 10:46:52
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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I don't think a child is entitled to privacy unless drugs or bullying is involved.
Let me re-word it so it makes sense, LMAO!
I don't think a child is entitled to privacy any time they want just because they're not doing drugs or bullying. I don't think those reasons are the only reasons to want to be aware of what your child is doing online or where ever.
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| Sinder |
Posted on 07/18/2012 12:08:18
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I got a big blue star for posting. i must be special
Posts: 1705
Joined: 30.11.11
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For instance, is it okay for a parent to check their childs back pack?
I think yes, my mom does anyway because I forget to give her important letters, and to clean my P.E. kit.
What about their Facebook or cell phone?
No! Omg that would be horrible.
Yes if the child is young 5-11 or whatever.
What about if they get their child's permission first?
Then its all right
Does the age of the child matter?
Not really, all moms should be looking out for there children.
Do your parents do this? How does it make you feel?
Yes my mom does to get things out of my bag and I will give her my phone if she runs out of credit (I hope she doesn't read my messages). To be honest I really don't care. I would if it was something bad but I would just tell her.
What if your parents did this to you?
If it was on xfire/foodclan.com, then I think I would be mad at her. I don't really know, at the end of the day she wants me to be safe -.-
What if you were a parent?
If I was a parent of young children like my age. I would probably do this. I would rather them be safe.
GOTTA GO PIZZA HERE!
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| Tulipness |
Posted on 07/18/2012 17:00:35
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Numpty
Posts: 1008
Joined: 18.03.12
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You can friend a parent,but you can block the parent from viewing anything,such as no status updates,etc.So that is very helpful 
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
-Aristotle
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| badger |
Posted on 07/24/2012 23:24:51
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Newbie
Posts: 11
Joined: 26.06.12
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I believe in most cases no, but there are always exceptions. For instance, going through a childs backpack. If the kid is a known druggie and the school has contacted the parents about drug problems it is reasonable to look for something suspicious. Another example, reading text messages. If the parent believe their son/ daughter may be cuberbullying someone it is totally reasonable to look through those messages. but unless there is probably cause, i do not believe parents should look through their kids stuff, although the decision is ultimately up to them 
-Badger. |
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| PirateKing |
Posted on 07/26/2012 21:28:23
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Numpty
Posts: 1128
Joined: 01.03.12
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parents are the authority in the house. if the kids are acting suspicious nd everything i would say yes the parents have every right to look into their stuff. i once had my cell taken away cause i was rebelling lol. it taught me to respect authority nd live by the rules.
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