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adder nerdy jokes from net
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| ZA BlackAdder |
Posted on 09/09/2011 00:29:29
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Super Admin
Posts: 2419
Joined: 18.11.10
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A mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a theoretical physicist are stuck on a deserted island with only a can of beans for food. Since none of them has a can opener, they set about thinking of how to open the can.
The mechanical enginner says, "If we take this big rock and drop it on top of the can, the gravitational force will increase the pressure inside the can and force it to explode!" The other quickly shoot this down, pointing out that it will also squish the beans.
After a while, the chemical enginner says, "If we grind up these shells and mix them with the salt water, it will produce an acid strong enough to eat through the metal. We just have to put it on the rim of the can and wait." But they decide that would be toxic to the human body.
After a bit more time has passed, the theoretical physicist jumps up. "I've got it! First, we'll assume we have a can opener..."
One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."
*If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.
*Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF
*I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.
*I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
*You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.
*How do I set a laser printer to stun?
*We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.
*What's a polygon? A dead parrot.
There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry. Internet Explorer.
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| ZA Coke |
Posted on 09/09/2011 00:41:24
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 3473
Joined: 17.11.10
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OMG!
COOL STORY BRO !!!!
Zombie Assassins Founder: ZA was born on December 24th, 2009.
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| ZA BlackAdder |
Posted on 09/09/2011 00:42:28
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Super Admin
Posts: 2419
Joined: 18.11.10
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did u even get them? XD
1 more:
The square root of negative one and pi are having an argument. After the discussion the square root of negative one say to pi, "Why can't you just be rational?" Pi responds, "Get real."
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| RazNinjaMike |
Posted on 09/09/2011 09:56:30
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Moderator
Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10
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| fc_Tuna |
Posted on 09/09/2011 14:14:31
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Member
Posts: 221
Joined: 26.11.10
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Adder you have way too much sitting and wasting time. Get back to work or change a diaper. lol |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 09/09/2011 15:43:27
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Adder, I, for one, salute you.
An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist are staying in the same hotel. A fire breaks out on the three floors they're on. The engineer wakes up, grabs the trash can, runs to the bathroom, fills the can and douses the flames before heading back to bed. The physicist wakes up and sees the fire. He grabs the notepad on the night-stand, determines the exact amount of water needed to put out the fire, collects that amount of water and puts out the fire. The mathematician wakes up, sees the fire and also grabs the notepad on his night-stand. He sits on the edge of his bed calculating the amount of water required to put out the fire. After a few moments, he stands up and shouts "A solution exists!" before going back to bed.
Three statisticians are at an archery range. The first shoots at the target and misses 10 meters to the left. The second misses 10 meters to the right. The third starts jumping up and down yelling "I hit it!."
A farmer notices that all of his chickens are inexplicably dying with no apparent symptoms and hires a veterinarian, a biochemist, and a physicist to determine the cause of the deaths. The veterinarian comes back a week later and says, "I've examined all the chickens and can't figure out why they're dying." The biochemist comes back two weeks later and says, "I've run every test I know, but I still can't figure why the chickens are dying." The physicist comes back a month later with 20 pages of calculations and says, "I have a solution to your problem, but it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum."
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| ninja |
Posted on 09/09/2011 16:00:27
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Super Admin
Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10
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Is it bad that I found all of these hilarious?
My brain is open.
- Paul Erdős |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 09/09/2011 16:11:25
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Join us, Ninja! Join the nerds!
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| alltheabove |
Posted on 09/10/2011 00:20:18
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Senior Member
Posts: 410
Joined: 20.06.11
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"If you were DNA, I'd totally be your helicase and unzip your 'genes' all day."
.___________. please forgive my lameness.
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