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Drkinferno
#21 Print Post
Posted on 03/18/2012 00:05:20
Wanker


Posts: 908
Joined: 11.05.11

good good Grin
 
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Phoenix
#22 Print Post
Posted on 03/18/2012 00:06:57
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 2309
Joined: 16.04.11

I'll get you in Drk. Sorry.
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ZA EZrab
#23 Print Post
Posted on 03/18/2012 00:37:04
ShawnPeezy


Posts: 3268
Joined: 26.07.11

nice
 
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ZA BlackAdder
#24 Print Post
Posted on 03/18/2012 03:07:43
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Super Admin


Posts: 2419
Joined: 18.11.10

gj keep it up!
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FC Wings
#25 Print Post
Posted on 03/18/2012 09:41:54
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Posts: 4425
Joined: 16.11.10

Good Job!
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Phoenix
#26 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 02:00:07
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 2309
Joined: 16.04.11

Chapter 4



Four Spartans were walking up the slope inside the metal tunnel. They each made their footsteps as quiet as possible. They entered the next chamber. A small corridor leading to an overhang of a large room that had one exit to the outside canyon. As they exited the small corridor onto the overhand they each crouched until each member was on the platform.


"Carnage, give me an estimate." ordered Ninja, crouching at the front of the pack.
"10 to 15" whispered Carnage, now in prone peeking over the edge of the overhang.
"Let's keep moving." said Luna at the tail of the squad. "We need to get to that ledge so we can secure a position."
"You heard the lady. Let's go." replied Ninja.


The team continued into the next tunnel that lead to a room with two more corridors. They took the longer path, going at a slightly faster pace. They entered the last and longest tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel drew closer and closer. The squad finally made it outside. The canyon separated them from the ledge they longed for. The bridges were their lifeline.


"Ok, let's make a run for it." said Ninja, beginning to sprint towards the bridges.


His comrades followed close behind him. There were halfway across the ledge when 4 zombies appeared at the end of the bridge. They were waiting. They charged down the bridge.


"OPEN FIRE!" screamed Ninja as he crouched and set off his AR.


Hat, behind Ninja shot of his AR as well. The zombies didn't go down. They seemed to all have OS. The front one got to Ninja. The Spartan shoved the butt of his rifle into the face of the zombie. It seemed to have no effect. He now was using his gun as a shield from the blows the zombie threw. Hat ran up to his comrade, jumped over his head, and tackled the zombie. The zombie fell back onto the bridge but Hat couldn't control the fall and fell off the narrow bridge. Ninja grabbed the leg of his falling friend, leaving him helpless to the next zombie climbing over the recovering one. Ninja took out his pistol and emptied it into the creature. It's OS went down with the last round. But the zombie was already wound up for a smash onto the helpless Spartans helmet. Before it could get off it's punch, the zombies head exploded and it's body fell of the bridge.


"Sorry I'm late." said Phoenix, over the com.


Ninja looked down into the canyon bellow. The sniper was reloading and aiming for the remaining two zombies in front of his teammates. It took 4 rounds for each zombie, but they both went down before reaching Ninja and Hat.

Almost directly behind that action was Luna and Carnage fighting off the swarm of zombies that was inside that room. The earlier gunfire had awakened them. Carnage had was reloading his shotgun as Luna threw a frag to give her time to reload as well. One of the zombies made a leap onto the bridge avoiding the grenade. Carnage dropped his shotgun, took a frag of his own out and charged straight for the zombie. He blocked the swing of the zombie with one arm and then jammed the frag into the armor of the undead. He gave the zombie a kick then leaped backwards as far as he could. From behind Luna shot one pistol round straight into the grenade lodged with the zombie. Carnage splattered all over Carnage.


Phoenix, already up the edges of the canyon leading into the same room his team was in, was sprinting into the corridor that would lead him to his team. As he too approached the light at the end of the tunnel he was met with a running zombie that took him straight to the ground. The tackle caused the Spartan to loose the grip on his rifle. Phoenix flipped the zombie over him and recovered, searching for his weapon. The zombie, now recovered as well, made a leap straight for the soldier. The crack of rifle went off as the creature landed back on the Spartan. Carnage, sprinted back into the tunnel to see what happened. The zombie rose... then rolled to the side and collapsed to the ground as Phoenix got back on his feet pushing of the creature.


"Ninja, Luna, and Hat are already on the ledge!" yelled Carnage, heading back out the tunnel. "Let's go!"


Phoenix followed and both made it across the bridge. Hat and Ninja were already guarding the two bridges that lead to the ledge.


"Well that, wasn't too bad." said Phoenix, regaining his breath.
"Shut up." snapped back Luna cleaning the pieces of flesh off of her armor.




END CHAPTER 4
Edited by Phoenix on 03/20/2012 02:04:24
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ZA EZrab
#27 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 08:05:56
ShawnPeezy


Posts: 3268
Joined: 26.07.11

nice! keep it up
 
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Carnage
#28 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 11:22:01
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Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11

I am liking this more and more! Its very suspenseful!
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends

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Dudeman
#29 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 11:26:32
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Posts: 1277
Joined: 03.01.12

Sorry I'm late. Just read all four chapters. Very entertaining bro :D !!!
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The Hat of Love
#30 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 12:40:37
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11

Phoenix wrote:
"Dismissed. You have your orders." said Hat (in that sexy accent)

Oh yeah.


Liking it so far!
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:

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FC Wings
#31 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 18:37:49
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Posts: 4425
Joined: 16.11.10

Phoenix wrote:
Chapter 4



Four Spartans were walking up the slope inside the metal tunnel. They each made their footsteps as quiet as possible. They entered the next chamber. A small corridor leading to an overhang of a large room that had one exit to the outside canyon. As they exited the small corridor onto the overhand they each crouched until each member was on the platform.


"Carnage, give me an estimate." ordered Ninja, crouching at the front of the pack.
"10 to 15" whispered Carnage, now in prone peeking over the edge of the overhang.
"Let's keep moving." said Luna at the tail of the squad. "We need to get to that ledge so we can secure a position."
"You heard the lady. Let's go." replied Ninja.


The team continued into the next tunnel that lead to a room with two more corridors. They took the longer path, going at a slightly faster pace. They entered the last and longest tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel drew closer and closer. The squad finally made it outside. The canyon separated them from the ledge they longed for. The bridges were their lifeline.


"Ok, let's make a run for it." said Ninja, beginning to sprint towards the bridges.


His comrades followed close behind him. There were halfway across the ledge when 4 zombies appeared at the end of the bridge. They were waiting. They charged down the bridge.


"OPEN FIRE!" screamed Ninja as he crouched and set off his AR.


Hat, behind Ninja shot of his AR as well. The zombies didn't go down. They seemed to all have OS. The front one got to Ninja. The Spartan shoved the butt of his rifle into the face of the zombie. It seemed to have no effect. He now was using his gun as a shield from the blows the zombie threw. Hat ran up to his comrade, jumped over his head, and tackled the zombie. The zombie fell back onto the bridge but Hat couldn't control the fall and fell off the narrow bridge. Ninja grabbed the leg of his falling friend, leaving him helpless to the next zombie climbing over the recovering one. Ninja took out his pistol and emptied it into the creature. It's OS went down with the last round. But the zombie was already wound up for a smash onto the helpless Spartans helmet. Before it could get off it's punch, the zombies head exploded and it's body fell of the bridge.


"Sorry I'm late." said Phoenix, over the com.


Ninja looked down into the canyon bellow. The sniper was reloading and aiming for the remaining two zombies in front of his teammates. It took 4 rounds for each zombie, but they both went down before reaching Ninja and Hat.

Almost directly behind that action was Luna and Carnage fighting off the swarm of zombies that was inside that room. The earlier gunfire had awakened them. Carnage had was reloading his shotgun as Luna threw a frag to give her time to reload as well. One of the zombies made a leap onto the bridge avoiding the grenade. Carnage dropped his shotgun, took a frag of his own out and charged straight for the zombie. He blocked the swing of the zombie with one arm and then jammed the frag into the armor of the undead. He gave the zombie a kick then leaped backwards as far as he could. From behind Luna shot one pistol round straight into the grenade lodged with the zombie. Carnage splattered all over Carnage.


Phoenix, already up the edges of the canyon leading into the same room his team was in, was sprinting into the corridor that would lead him to his team. As he too approached the light at the end of the tunnel he was met with a running zombie that took him straight to the ground. The tackle caused the Spartan to loose the grip on his rifle. Phoenix flipped the zombie over him and recovered, searching for his weapon. The zombie, now recovered as well, made a leap straight for the soldier. The crack of rifle went off as the creature landed back on the Spartan. Carnage, sprinted back into the tunnel to see what happened. The zombie rose... then rolled to the side and collapsed to the ground as Phoenix got back on his feet pushing of the creature.


"Ninja, Luna, and Hat are already on the ledge!" yelled Carnage, heading back out the tunnel. "Let's go!"


Phoenix followed and both made it across the bridge. Hat and Ninja were already guarding the two bridges that lead to the ledge.


"Well that, wasn't too bad." said Phoenix, regaining his breath.
"Shut up." snapped back Luna cleaning the pieces of flesh off of her armor.




END CHAPTER 4
MORE MORE
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Carnage
#32 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 18:50:10
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Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11

MOOOOORRRREEEEE WE DEMAND MOOOOOORRRRREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends

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RazNinjaMike
#33 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 18:55:21
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Moderator


Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10

his first post got all chapters in it. to help with reading!
 
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FC Wings
#34 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 18:58:24
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Super Admin


Posts: 4425
Joined: 16.11.10

Carnage wrote:
MOOOOORRRREEEEE WE DEMAND MOOOOOORRRRREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn straight we do
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ZA Luna
#35 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 19:11:58
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I got a big blue star for posting. i must be special


Posts: 1723
Joined: 16.11.10

Definitely more!
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Carnage
#36 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 19:15:17
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Super Admin


Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11

I also made this story the current Featured Fan Fiction so you can click the link on the nav panel to see it.
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends

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Tulipness
#37 Print Post
Posted on 03/20/2012 21:16:10
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Numpty


Posts: 1008
Joined: 18.03.12

You should write a real book and publish it ^.^ fantastic chronological order and thrill Smile would be a good thing add a higher vocabulary like petite,ample,prolonged.also instead of using said,you can say "(person replying) shot back."

Ps:as for the title of each chapter,i suggest you put it as the thesis of the chapter.so for this chapter it could be "Uninvited Visitors" or anything related among any other thesis for the chapter
Edited by Tulipness on 03/20/2012 21:33:19
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
-Aristotle



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The Hat of Love
#38 Print Post
Posted on 03/21/2012 11:26:19
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ShawnPeezy


Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11

That is indeed a style that you could use. It really depends on what kind of style of writing you're going for. I read a lot of books (living up to my name) so I'm influenced by that when I'm writing Suriving the End.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:

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ZA reaper
#39 Print Post
Posted on 03/22/2012 07:40:50
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Wanker


Posts: 871
Joined: 15.11.10

what about me
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Allie
#40 Print Post
Posted on 03/22/2012 19:27:44
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Wanker


Posts: 818
Joined: 23.10.11

Amazing phoenix!! I love it!! i've read quite a bit of zombie books and you've drawn me into your story :) I saw the little part with me... but not trying to be selfish or anything could you add me in a lil bit more >.> <.< <3
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RazNinjaMike
08/07/2026 16:28:22
hmm

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not dead

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Still alive. ~B_Slap~

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Wassup gang ~craptacular~

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Anytime I post something in the thread, it's not visible.

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The ISP blocked you.

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if you dont got discord, go get it. its great for chatting as well Cool

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I had replied to the thread and it broke. ~ban?~

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