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Prisoner
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| ZA Lynx |
Posted on 11/17/2011 12:18:21
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Member
Posts: 148
Joined: 21.07.11
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Here's one I heard at work the other day
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A fellow goes to prison for the first time and his cell mate says that he will keep him right. The next evening there is a jokes evening in the canteen so they go together.
A prisoner stands up and shouts, "42". There is a great roar of laughter from the other prisoners. Another prisoner stands up and shouts, "79". Again, great roars of laughter, this happens several other times.
The new prisoner asks his cell mate what is happening?
Well says the cell mate, " We have all heard these jokes before so we have given them all numbers". "Can I have a go?" asks the new prisoner, "Sure" says the cell mate. The new prisoner stands up and shouts out, "62". Not a sound from the other prisoners, "Why no laughs" asks the new prisoner.
"It's the way you tell them" says his cell mate. |
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| ZA BlackAdder |
Posted on 11/17/2011 12:20:54
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Super Admin
Posts: 2419
Joined: 18.11.10
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lol???
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| weeshuggy |
Posted on 11/17/2011 12:23:25
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Wanker
Posts: 785
Joined: 23.06.11
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10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" |
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| MasterA |
Posted on 11/17/2011 12:40:02
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Super Admin
Posts: 2582
Joined: 21.07.11
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hm i thought this thread was going to be about the map prisoner when i first saw it lol |
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| ZA RedXlll |
Posted on 11/17/2011 13:32:25
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Numpty
Posts: 1181
Joined: 30.12.10
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ZA Lynx wrote:
Here's one I heard at work the other day
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A fellow goes to prison for the first time and his cell mate says that he will keep him right. The next evening there is a jokes evening in the canteen so they go together.
A prisoner stands up and shouts, "42". There is a great roar of laughter from the other prisoners. Another prisoner stands up and shouts, "79". Again, great roars of laughter, this happens several other times.
The new prisoner asks his cell mate what is happening?
Well says the cell mate, " We have all heard these jokes before so we have given them all numbers". "Can I have a go?" asks the new prisoner, "Sure" says the cell mate. The new prisoner stands up and shouts out, "62". Not a sound from the other prisoners, "Why no laughs" asks the new prisoner.
"It's the way you tell them" says his cell mate.
I have a sneaky suspicion that this is a 69 joke.
RedXIII's Kill Count
Bots:3
Douche Bags:20
Last Updated: 11/14/11 |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 11/17/2011 13:46:41
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream.
'Cos he got hit by a bus...
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 11/17/2011 14:25:46
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Being raped by a giant scorpion.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 11/17/2011 15:52:44
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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What's dumber than these jokes?
Your Mom.
*classic*
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 11/17/2011 15:54:35
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Deine Mutter.
Es ist Deutsch fur 'Your mother.'
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| TacoCookie |
Posted on 11/17/2011 15:59:06
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Member
Posts: 72
Joined: 19.06.11
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What runs faster than you?
Your fridge.
TacoCookie |
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| ZA numpty |
Posted on 11/17/2011 16:27:51
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 4430
Joined: 16.11.10
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Why did the girl fall off the swings?
She had no arms!
What did the homeless guy get for christmas?
NOTHING! |
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| Sarge |
Posted on 11/17/2011 16:43:26
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Senior Member
Posts: 369
Joined: 30.10.11
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I has riddles  and no cheating!
To cross the water I'm the way, for water I'm above. I touch it not and, truth to say, I neither swim nor move.
Where can you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?
A house is built with all four sides facing north. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?
There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it?
Everything in me is ancient. What am I?
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| ZA numpty |
Posted on 11/17/2011 16:50:22
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 4430
Joined: 16.11.10
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Sarge wrote:
I has riddles and no cheating!
To cross the water I'm the way, for water I'm above. I touch it not and, truth to say, I neither swim nor move.
Where can you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?
A house is built with all four sides facing north. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?
There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it?
Everything in me is ancient. What am I?
A bridge
A map
White
Window
The Universe
Any more brain busters? |
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 11/17/2011 16:59:15
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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Wait, explain the bear being white!!!!
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| Sarge |
Posted on 11/17/2011 17:03:28
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Senior Member
Posts: 369
Joined: 30.10.11
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ZA numpty wrote:
Sarge wrote:
I has riddles and no cheating!
To cross the water I'm the way, for water I'm above. I touch it not and, truth to say, I neither swim nor move.
Where can you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?
A house is built with all four sides facing north. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?
There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it?
Everything in me is ancient. What am I?
A bridge
A map
White
Window
The Universe
Any more brain busters?
Correct
Correct
Wrong
Correct
Wrong
and yes.
Iron roof and glass walls, it burns and burns but never falls. What am I?
Ten Men's Strength, Ten Men's Length, Ten Men can't break it, Yet a young boy walks off with it. What am I?
I begin eternity, and end space. At the end of time, and in every place. Last in life, second to death. Never alone, found in your breath. Contained by earth, water or flame. My grandeur so awesome,
wind dare not tame. Not in your mind, am in your dreams. Vacant to Kings, present to Queens. What am I?
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| RazNinjaMike |
Posted on 11/17/2011 17:07:00
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Moderator
Posts: 4586
Joined: 20.11.10
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lool taco |
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 11/17/2011 17:09:42
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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Iron roof and glass walls, it burns and burns but never falls. What am I?
Ten Men's Strength, Ten Men's Length, Ten Men can't break it, Yet a young boy walks off with it. What am I?
I begin eternity, and end space. At the end of time, and in every place. Last in life, second to death. Never alone, found in your breath. Contained by earth, water or flame. My grandeur so awesome,
wind dare not tame. Not in your mind, am in your dreams. Vacant to Kings, present to Queens. What am I?
first one, who knows
second one, wtf
and the last one E!!! I KNOW ONE!
So explain the fucking bear, right now!
And also the other one he got wrong!!!
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| Sarge |
Posted on 11/17/2011 17:12:59
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Senior Member
Posts: 369
Joined: 30.10.11
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There is no bear, if all walls are facing north, then the house is in the south pole, and there are no bears in the south pole...
As for the other answer, it would be Museum.
EDIT: Btw, you got the E one right, nice job 
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 11/17/2011 17:15:30
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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The bear?
All four sides of the house face south (he says north but means south), meaning that the house must be at the north pole. And ewhat kind of bears live at the north pole. Polar bears.
This one isn't actually correct. It says that all four sides of the house face north. This could only possibly work at the South Pole. Where there are no bears.
E: Ah, ninja'd me Sarge.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| Sarge |
Posted on 11/17/2011 17:21:59
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Senior Member
Posts: 369
Joined: 30.10.11
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Actually i meant north, its supposed to have no answer 
and HA i ninja'd you
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