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A Idea i was working on this morning
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:18:47
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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For the past, months iv'e been freewriting storys. this morning i had this Awesome idea. what if there was a disease that came from space and was caught through metals (not iron metals, Periodic Table metals) This is a idea i just had to show you. ill be editing this thread with my progress. here it is so far, Hope you like it.
Update: Not just metals anymore, i did metals because i thougth carbon was a metal and we are carbon based (meaning where screwed) but now that its a nonmetal i decieded to change it to any metal. Thanks for the critiqe hat.
Update: 5:21 PM October 17 2011: Thanks everyone for the backround info this thread will be getting updates and story updates for a while everyones been a great cont. and i will be updating the story and updates atleast one a day. Special thanks to: Ninja, Carnage, Starface and TheHatOfLove you had great controbutions.
Update 11:26 PM October 17 2011: Last update till i cloose up shop, I Fixed the charechter descriptions to introduce them earlyer and give them more...Personality. Gnight Mates, Keep up the critiqueing! and i feel for you veehill, my hard drive broke right after i finished a 10 chapter portal fan fiction.
Update 5:14 PM October 18 2011: Well i added some more to the story and a explanation requested by the famous big grunty thirst, I've been getting progress well since yesterday morning and i still need your response, I've improved my grammer and is still improving so give me feeback (plz bold what i need to fix), Thank you.
(Please dont lock and delete this thread, im working hard. this isnt a spam thread like the still alive i would really like your judgement of anything that shuold be changed. Thank you)
What if you were left in an unknown place, knowing everything you ever lived for your destroying that second? What would you feel? What would you do when the destruction is done? How will you live?
Could you figure it out, or will you just die like the others.
102 years from now in 2113 we finished running from the warships coming from Iraq. It’s been 102 years from the day they came, what was on the ships? That’s why we decided to go to space, the one thing they can’t do. Control Group C and D where trying to get this one piece of human flesh they found on Uranus, Discovered via telescope. But really was it human flesh, Humans never even laid a foot on that planet.
We were landing, faster than ever. Exceeding the speed of light just to get to the planet on its side, "Any news about what’s going on back home" a voice behind the captain of the ship, Zane the brave captain who took the mission of blowing up Fahrenheit.
"I Don't Know" Said Kathie the loyal commander of the military ship
They took the sample and ran back to the ship, "This cell copies every living thing it touches, yet it is a virus" The Captain, Zane said.
"Take it back to earth" Kathie said about a foot behind Zane.
"Ok, Transporting. Now that this is done get back to the underground base; Suits on so you don't freeze" said Zane.
Meanwhile it was being delivered to earth
Have you ever thought of getting a disease from yourself? Have you thought that a disease could catch on through Carbon, Sodium and other elements under the Any Classification?
The Harvard University was doing a study on biology while the virus was spreading, none of their information was correct about this virus but it has to be a virus it has the virions but how, the virus continued replacing itself along with spreading into multiple viruses. The men in the Astrophysicists Laboratory came to a conclusion—Where screwed.
Explanation: Humans are made of carbon and the Virus catch’s on through elements and especially carbon, There for we are the conductor for the virus to spread.
-Last edited 3:10 PM October 17 2011
Edited by ZA lemonzandcandy on 10/18/2011 18:16:50
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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| Carnage |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:39:43
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Super Admin
Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11
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Your grammar needs work but it sounds good so far. Do you have any background knowledge about viruses? If not, you should research them a little (every good writer researches... :-) If your information is closer to reality I think people could relate to it better.
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:49:04
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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A Little, I Know they catch, Airborne and seaborne the idea is you always get viruses from earth and air or sea borne. what about from space?
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:50:41
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Improve the grammarz! Improve them I say!
Anyways, that is a pretty cool story, bro.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:52:40
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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Thanks, im working on it right now im microsoft word.
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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| Carnage |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:55:43
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Super Admin
Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11
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Viruses are essentially strands of proteins/nucleic acids so I could definitely see how they could potentially survive in space since they aren't living.
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 15:57:25
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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Edited much better grammar and spell check. and im on some edu page looking at viruses thanks for reviewing my story. REALLY helped
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 10/17/2011 16:04:31
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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Have you ever thought of getting a disease from yourself? Have you thought that a disease could catch on through Carbon, Sodium and other elements under the Metal Classifacation?*
Classification. Just sayin'
Carbon is a non-metal, correct me if I'm wrong. If it could be transmitted through carbon then that's pretty much all life screwed since we're carbon-based. Also, there seem to be a lot of random capital letters.
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 16:24:22
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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thanks for the help hat, look at my update.
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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| za heystarface |
Posted on 10/17/2011 16:30:30
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Admin
Posts: 6130
Joined: 20.11.10
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I agree about the grammar.
Also, introduce the names of your characters much sooner so we can better visualize who is talking. Also, try to add more detail on the characters, like:
"Katherine, the meticulous expert in arms and the captain's pet..." or something like that.
I like it. GJ! |
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 16:34:59
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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Ty Starface, i will start working on it after i can pull myself away from smileys zombies on halo intros
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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| The Hat of Love |
Posted on 10/17/2011 17:03:46
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 9035
Joined: 31.07.11
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'Other elements under the Any Classification.'
my signature broke, here is a fox snek:
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| ninja |
Posted on 10/17/2011 17:18:51
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Super Admin
Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10
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@Carnage, I think one could argue that viruses are living.
@Lemonz. It's an interesting idea for a story, and it will be nice to see how you'll develop it.
In terms of structure, I think you could better paragraph your writing, alongside augmenting the flow of the narrative, which would give a better read.
I like the rhetorical questions, and will be good to learn how you'll answer them. How long are you hoping to make this story?
It could do with some more description, and build up of characters, like Star said.
My brain is open.
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| Carnage |
Posted on 10/17/2011 18:02:45
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Super Admin
Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11
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ninja wrote:
@Carnage, I think one could argue that viruses are living.
Most scientists would tell you that viruses are not living because they do not meet the qualifications for life while they are not inhabiting a host cell.
"Let’s first define life. According to the online Merriam-Webster Dictionary, life is “an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction. Viruses are not living things. Viruses are complicated assemblies of molecules, including proteins, nucleic acids, lipids, and carbohydrates, but on their own they can do nothing until they enter a living cell. Without cells, viruses would not be able to multiply. Therefore, viruses are not living things.
When a virus encounters a cell, a series of chemical reactions occur that lead to the production of new viruses. These steps are completely passive, that is, they are predefined by the nature of the molecules that comprise the virus particle. Viruses don’t actually ‘do’ anything. Often scientists and non-scientists alike ascribe actions to viruses such as employing, displaying, destroying, evading, exploiting, and so on. These terms are incorrect because viruses are passive, completely at the mercy of their environment.”
A lot of scientists also categorize them in a grey area between living and non-living, because once they inhabit a cell they can do most things that qualify under the definition of life such as grow and reproduce.
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/17/2011 18:20:18
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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@carnage k, this backround infos good for the story
@ninja look behind you! i will be working on this for atleast 2-3 months and i will be dev the story often. more and more updates will gather up
@slim sticky this?
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| ninja |
Posted on 10/17/2011 19:06:31
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Super Admin
Posts: 4174
Joined: 15.11.10
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Carnage wrote:
A lot of scientists also categorize them in a grey area between living and non-living, because once they inhabit a cell they can do most things that qualify under the definition of life such as grow and reproduce.
That's what I meant, but I agree with what you said. It's an interesting question for classification in Biology.
My brain is open.
- Paul Erdős |
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| Phoenix |
Posted on 10/17/2011 19:08:15
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ShawnPeezy
Posts: 2309
Joined: 16.04.11
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Cool! |
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| ZA Bvigil |
Posted on 10/17/2011 20:15:43
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Admin
Posts: 2161
Joined: 15.11.10
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I had an entire god damned story written and it was like 6 chapters long and i had to restore my computer RAGE OF 1000 SUNS ACTIVATED
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| Carnage |
Posted on 10/17/2011 22:44:28
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Super Admin
Posts: 4245
Joined: 28.09.11
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ZA Bvigil wrote:
I had an entire god damned story written and it was like 6 chapters long and i had to restore my computer RAGE OF 1000 SUNS ACTIVATED
I feel for you bro, my brother did a destructive restore to "help me fix my computer" when i had already told him I had fixed it. I raged super hard and beat his ass.
"Hey guys, I just bought this thing called a sight ward...so it's GG." - MasterA in League of Legends
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| ZA lemonzandcandy |
Posted on 10/18/2011 00:23:10
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Numpty
Posts: 1209
Joined: 18.12.10
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Havent done a update since this afternoon, Better get to it.
-cod md- - terraria md?- |
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